HMMM... WILL WINTER EVER END IN NOVA SCOTIA???

I hate winter... Especially when winter blah-ness attacks my emotions and drives me into a depression that I have no control over. At least I now recognize when I am depressed. And, I am forever grateful for knowing when I am reaching my depressed state and know how to handle those crazy thoughts that come with it. At one time I was so depressed that suicide was my only viable option. I am now of course thankful that I did not take the easy way out. I fought and clawed my way through that bad time in my life. I know a lot of people say that they are depressed but in my opinion, you are not depressed unless you have had to fight and claw your way back to happiness... You are not depressed unless you have had to depend on drugs to make you happy.

Last night I was so far down in my depression that I finally decided to do an extra workout and once those endorphins kicked in, oh yeah I was feeling good. Finally I had a smile on my face and was laughing.

There is not a whole lot going on in my life right now other than fighting my depression. I am excited that I do not have to have colon surgery, though next week I will find out if I have to go for surgery on my female parts. I have made the adult decision that if I do have to have cervical treatment I will be asking Dr. Tynski to take it all out. If I have no intentions of having babies so why should I have the parts? Makes total sense to me.

I am hoping to be asleep tonight before 3am. Lately I have been staying awake until 3 or later each night and then sleeping until well after half the day is gone. Wednesday I have to be up early and on the bus for 0730 as I need to have blood work done and then I have a breathing test I have to have done at 0930. So I probably should take my sleeping pills now and hope to fall asleep. I do have 3 more things to do before I do that. I need to do my girlie pushups, my behind the head pullups and send off my good morning email to Don.

So, until next time, enjoy and be safe.