Meeting # 2 is now in session

Hi my name is Elizabeth and I am a Mackaholic. He has gone overseas for 6 weeks or so. He will be returning on August 25th or so. I can, I will, I must survive this time without him. There are many things going on in my life that should keep me occupied enough that the time flies by. First, Mom's in the hospital. Today is Day 25... I had to go to Access NS with power of attorney information to get her car temporarily registered, I also paid her bills today. I woke up in a bad mood, actually I went to bed feeling loney and sad, woke up feeling even crappier, went and visited Mom for a little bit. I brushed out most of her hair, gave her some lunch and something to drink. Came home, checked my email and voila my lovely friend Ken had sent me an email wanting to know if he could come visit. He held me this afternoon and made me feel so happy. I really needed to see a friendly face to get my mind off of the crap going on inside my head. So, when he left, I went to town and did POA crap for Mom, came home... Had a bite to eat, Jean asked me to go to the liquor store for her. So, off I went to do that... Now I am home.

I can feel the depression kicking in... I am going to have to talk to Dr. Salazar about upping my celexa again. With the stress in my life I am just getting crankier and more tired. As I get crankier and more tired, my mind plays tricks on my body. My depression deepens and my ability to fight it off becomes much more difficult.

I am sitting here listening to sad, sappy love songs. ...probably should not be listening to "Stay" by Sugarland... I don't think I should be listening to sappy songs at all... I still miss him... I do hope he's happy but I see his face in every person I see when I go to Dartmouth... Sad, eh? He made my toes curl with just a look from his sparkling blue eyes... Oh yeah... I need to start thinking of other things and people... Him being Mike. I know Mack, I know. I need to get him out of my head but it's hard a times when I see people happy, in love and moving on with their lives. All I truly want is him. I regret so many things when it comes to him. I regret hurting him, I regret sending that letter but most of all I regret not giving him a chance when he wanted a second chance. I still love him, what do I do about that?

Hell's Kitchen starts again next week, this will be the first time in 3 or 4 seasons that I will not get to watch the whole season with Mack. I sure hope that Jada is taping it for you.

Well, that's about it for now. I will close this session of Mackaholics with the following:

hahahaha Chad broke the trend and gave Grandma Mack a granddaughter...hahaha... Now Jada will definitely be on your ass about another baby soon Mack.

Hi, my name is Elizabeth and I am a Mackaholic. Til next time, be safe and enjoy.

MACKAHOLICS SUPPORT GROUP IS IN SESSION AGAIN

Unfortunately I must pass along the news that Mack is going away for 6 weeks. We have talked once on MSN and a few times via email in the last 16 days, and next week he leaves for Cyprus for 6 weeks. So, I have decided to reinstate Mackaholics support group.

Meeting # 1

Hi, my name is Elizabeth and I am a mackaholic. I will be attending support group for the next 7 weeks or so. Although I no longer go through withdrawal I still feel the need to speak to him. We will only have access to each other via email but this does not seem to be good enough to help me deal with his absence.

I will be closing this session of Mackaholics with a few words of encouragement.

"Suck it up because life's a bitch and there ain't no one who would take your place, even if you were rich." --- Elizabeth Munroe

My name is Elizabeth, and unfortunately I am a Mackaholic.

I REFUSE TO DISCUSS THE REST OF MY TRIP

For reasons that are no longer that important, I chose to cut my trip to Ottawa short. I will not being commenting any further on it.

OTTAWA #1

I have begun my 24 day trip to Ottawa.

It started on June 6th. We were supposed to leave New Minas at 0600 but due to Jellybean's graduation running later than anticipated we ended up not getting on the 101 until 0930. We made amazing time, had great weather, waved to and gave Mack the finger on our way by CFB Gagetown in New Brunswick. I gave him the finger because his brother, Chad, sent me an offline message wishing me a great trip and Mack did not. We saw 4 moose, 1 40 foot husky and a 30 foot cow... Oh wait and one lonely tree on a farm with no other trees around it.

We got to Quebec City around 0700 and I called Cathy to get her to check mapquest.com to find out where the 138 was in relation to Cornwall on the 401 so that way when we got to Montreal I could call her and tell her to leave and she would know which way to turn when she turned onto the 401. We got to Montreal, called her, said we were about an hour and a half from Cornwall. We were just coming up to the bridge in Montreal. The traffic was at a complete stand still. Three lanes of traffic merging into one. It took us nearly half an hour to get across the bridge and to the other side of Montreal, which would normally take 15 minutes. We made great time and just as we were coming up to the 138 I noticed a new gas station. I said to Chris that I hoped Cathy was not there waiting for me as it was NOT the correct gas station.

We continued on and just as we thought we were about 1 km from the gas station that Cathy was supposed to be at, a tire blew on the trailer we were hauling behind us. This took us about half an hour to get changed. We get back on the 401 and low and behold the gas station is literally right around the corner. We piss and patter around for a while and Cathy is still no where to be seen. Finally, I decided that we should call the gas station that I had pointed out earlier. It took us another 20 minutes to get a phone number and then another 5 minutes to get through to them, after 20 rings a woman answered and I asked if she could check to see if there was a white ford escort wagon in her parking lot.. She said "one moment" to me and then I heard "Are you driving that white wagon?" I said "her name is cathy and tell her to get on the 401 going towards Toronto 15 minutes and I am at the Esso"... Divine Intervention. I firmly believe in it. I had prayed and asked God to bring us together and he did.

I fell asleep around 5AM Sunday morning and Cathy went to bed at noon when I got up. I went back to bed around 1pm and we both got up around 4:30pm and Jen and her son Josh were due at 5pm for a bbq. It was raining so we bought roasted chicken instead...lol...

Monday we went to Pierre's. He was happy to have 2 beautiful women visit him and a laptop to work on. So, my laptop is working in tip top shape.

That's it...That is all we have done...oh wait no... We went yard hopping on Monday night and ended up locked out of the house. We ended up crashing at Joanne's. So, thats it. On Sunday we are going to Upper Canada Village to the Medieval Festival and are dressing up in period costume. There will be more on that with pictures next week.

So, that's it. til next time, enjoy and be safe.

WOW NEARLY 3 MONTHS SINCE MY LAST POST

I did not realize how long it has been since I last posted. I don't even know where to begin.

April has come and gone... Another birthday... Mom spent most of March and April in the hospital. Finally got her sugars down to a normal number.

I am going to Ottawa for a few weeks. I have 15 more days to get packed and ready. I will be driving up with my friend Chris. We will be leaving at some stupid hour on June 6th... I can hardly wait to get my first hug from Cathy in nearly 7 years. I am also excited to see Jen and Susan... Also Jen's little boy Josh. And Jen's parents. Oh I can hardly wait.

Mack is doing alright... He got poisoned by his brother the other night. His baby, Quinlan, is teething. You can hear screams from every corner of Oromocto. :D

What else? Not a whole helluva lot.

Well, thats it... sorry... Until next time, enjoy and be safe.

McKenna says (11:40 PM): will I be in it? Elizabeth: says (11:40 PM): are you not always in it?

I have been asked nicely to update my blog. Though I am not sure what I am going to write about tonight. I am sitting here watching "The Apprentice: Celebrity" with Mack. He is at work and needs a nap. Though I have never known him to not need one. I did ask him tonight when the last time was that he was not tired. I think it was about 9 months before Caiden was born.

Evidently everyone in that family is well. I am trying to find out if Chad has proposed to his girlfriend... He keeps saying "maybe, maybe not". I have it figured out though... Chad tells mom, mom tells Jada, Jada tells Mack, Mack tells me. I have it all figured out.

I have to go see Dr. Hottie tomorrow for some drug refills and to have a mole removed from my shoulder. I am also going to get him to check out that damn itchy spot on my back that drives me absolutely insane.

Ummm what else? I changed my bedroom and livingroom around yesterday though I still have a lot of work to do in the livingroom. I am going to turn my loveseat so it is facing the door and put my big effin' chair cornered by the window so I can have a reading corner and watch the traffic at the same time.

I have a beautiful niece... A 6th one... Her name is Jaida Leigh Grace... I shall attach a picture of her when I am done this update.

Today I drank 1 pot of coffee that was caffeinated and 1 pot that was not caffeinated... I need to cut back on my coffee intake.

Well that's really all I have to say. My life is one big bore lately.

So, til next time, enjoy and be safe.

PLEASE HOLD UP MY HEART GIVE ME A REASON FOR THIS SILENCE

Have I ever mentioned how much I despise winter? Here it is nearly the 1st of March and we are expecting 50cm of snow beginning Sunday but only after we get 20mm of rain tomorrow... I will be so glad when this winter is over.

Today my grandmother would have been 70 years old if she had not of died from cancer nearly 10 years ago. I miss her so much that my heart breaks thinking of never being able to talk to her again, or having another game of cards with her. No matter how hard I tried I could not beat her at crib, I once had nearly the perfect hand playing against her. She was such a great person and so loving towards a little girl who needed to be loved.

She told me there was nothing she would not tell me if I asked her. So, I got brave one night and asked her who my real father was. She gave me his name and my grandfather said "I should have shot the son of a bitch when I had the chance". It was at that moment I realized that I did not need this man in my life was only a sperm donor. I had many great role models and this unknown man could not offer me anything as all the other male role models in my life gave me everything I needed or wanted.

I saw the eye doctor today... Apparently everything is "OK"... I guess I am stuck with asking Dr. Hottie next week to find out what the eye doctor discovered...

I do not have to have treatment on my female parts, so that's good news.

Mack is away for a while... He had to go to CFB Shearwater for something or other... I try not to ask questions so that way I do not forget anything he says that may be important...lol...

Well I am off to make popcorn and curl up to watch tv for a while... Til next time enjoy and be safe...